Okay real talk why do so many dyadic bigender people want to / do appropriate the h slur? Like wtf people.
Speaking as a bigender person, and the administrix of bigender.net for the last 4 and half years, having interacted with about a thousand people who identify as bigender, I want to say that this particular phenomenon seems to be primarily a tumblr phenomenon, spearheaded by a particularly loud and obnoxious gender fundamentalist clique who have created and perpetuate a very facile, yet damaging theory of gender, which proudly and loudly equates gender to sex. Agender-offender and deepsky28 are part of this clique and consistently claim that the h-slur is not a slur no matter who tells them, nor how often.
I speak up to any bigender person (well, any person, really, but specifically bigender people) I encounter who espouses that philosophy or uncritically uses that word (and two-spirit, which is the other common appropriation bigender people go for). It’s unacceptable and inexcusable.
I’m sorry that you’ve encountered this from a group of people to which I belong.